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Monkey Business: Swinging Through the Wall Street Jungle, by John Rolfe, Peter Troob
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They're investment bankers: They're rich. They're glamorous. They're movers. They're shakers. Or so they hoped. Two young business school graduates start at DLJ, a hot Wall Street firm, grabbing their chance to become lords of the investment universe. There they find themselves part of a horde of overworked and frustrated lemmings who receive super duper paychecks and superhuman abuse. In this high-stakes pressure-cooker, 20-hour days, late night trips to strip clubs, inflated salaries, and mind-numbing work are standard, and high-powered, outlandish personalities are the unforgettable norm. Readers had better strap themselves in for a wild, hilarious, sometimes shocking ride through a land where money is king, and all they ask is that you check your soul at the door.
- Sales Rank: #559225 in Books
- Published on: 2000-04
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 1.05" h x 6.36" w x 9.38" l,
- Binding: Hardcover
- 273 pages
From Publishers Weekly
As eager-beaver business school students, Rolfe and Troob garnered job offers as junior associates at the elite Wall Street investment bank Donaldson, Lufkin & Jenrette, lured by dreams of wealth, glamour and power. Readers whose fascination with Wall Street shenanigans has been fueled by Michael Lewis's Liar's Poker will find this thorough rundown of an investment bank associate's daily routine sobering. By the time Rolfe and Troob were able to discern the key fact that the "investment banking community has long been an oligopoly, with only a handful of real players with the size and scale to drive through the big deals," they were already grappling with the gritty reality of performing grunt labor in an environment ruled by despotic senior partners who called innumerable meetings to set unrealistic deadlines and make superhuman demands on anybody within screaming distance. The authors' resulting disappointment and disaffection leaps off every page. Unfortunately, they take out their frustrations with indiscriminate potshots at such easy targets as word processors ("Christopher Street fairies"), copy center personnel ("a platoon of patriotic Puerto Ricans" they offhandedly refer to as "militants") and female research analysts (whom they describe as "under-sexed, eager-to-please"). Long before the hapless authors have stooped to expressing their fury at the bank by such puerile antics as urinating into a beer bottle while seated at a banquet table at the Christmas party, readers will have had enough. (Apr.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Booklist
Time was when you took a job that you realized was not for you, you made the best of it and moved on. Now, though, you get your bitter revenge by writing a book trashing your former employer and coworkers. Rolfe and Troob worked as associates at investment banking powerhouse Donaldson, Lufkin & Jenrette. It's hard to sympathize with the pair. Their first full-year compensation was about eight times what average college graduates earn at their first job, and they traveled by private jet, stayed in the best hotels, and ate in the best restaurants. On the other hand, they put in 20-hour days, suffered the abuse of "rabid, power-mad bosses," and lacked meaningful personal lives. Relying heavily on "frat-house" humor, they tell the tale of their brief careers. Rolfe and Troob do provide some insight into what investment bankers do, and their story may serve as a warning to others considering entering the field. But if, as they claim, business school graduates are clamoring for such jobs, this warning will fall on deaf ears. David Rouse
Review
"...funniest read since Michael Lewis' Liar's Poker...Dave Barry couldn't have written a more schizophrenic tale..." -- Industry Standard, 4/17/00
The Net Economy is infatuated with boy wonders. Fawning magazine stories report the musings of obscure research analysts like PaineWebber's Walter Piecyk, 28, who managed to boost Qualcomm's market cap by $25 billion in one day last December. And Vanity Fair chronicles the harrowing road shows of baby-faced CEOs.
But there's a dark side to the story: the legions of hungry, young investment bankers who make it all happen behind the scenes. Wall Street's young turks attach themselves to anything and everything that generates fees. In the late 1980s it was junk bonds and mortgage-backed securities. In the greedy 1990s and onward it's Internet stocks.
Now thanks to two recent defectors from Donaldson Lufkin & Jenrette, we can peek behind the curtains of these money-making machines. Their book, Monkey Business, is the funniest read since Michael Lewis' Liar's Poker, and it should give pause to anyone who comes in close contact with this rare species.
Two young MBA hopefuls, John Rolfe and Peter Troob, got sucked into Wall Street right out of Wharton and Harvard, respectively, soaked up the local color and left to tell all a short while later. The scenes are straight out of movies like Wall Street or The Boiler Room: The young associates nurse their supersize egos while their bosses try to crush them; they curse profusely and live large on four hours of sleep a night; they subsidize the strip clubs of Manhattan before Mayor Giuliani took the perk away from Wall Street.
But what do they really do for $200,000 a year? "It took our mothers six months to realize that we weren't stockbrokers, working the phones to sell crappy public offerings to unsuspecting investors," they write. "It took us another six months after that to realize that we were, in fact, selling crappy public offerings to investors." The only difference was that these two associates were shoveling the smelly deals to institutional investors, who then passed the bucket on.
Dave Barry couldn't have written a more schizophrenic tale. In a freewheeling narrative that alternates between the two men, Monkey Business lays out in exquisite detail how pitch books are developed (collaborative yet futile chaos dictated by hierarchy); how an investment bank arrives at a company's valuation (mostly guesswork driven by the desire to prove a company's march toward world domination); how to read a prospectus that an army of lawyers, bankers, accountants and managers have fought over in mind-numbing "drafting sessions" (skip everything except the financial statements). Then there's the story of a fruitless "due-diligence" trip for the junk-bond offering of an unnamed multinational wireless company, a wild goose chase over 12,000 miles through seven countries that yields little substance.
A year into their banking careers, both authors decide to chuck it all and get a life, leaving behind what they call a jungle full of commandeering baboons, dung beetles and busy monkeys. These days they work for a hedge fund, go home at 8 p.m. and toy with a Web site (www.streetmonkey.com) that pokes fun at anything Wall Street, from the relaxed dress code at Goldman Sachs to the demise of the Tiger Management hedge fund. The duo isn't working on a pitch book to take themselves public - yet. -- From The Industry Standard
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Still a Must Read for anybody considering I-banking.
By Matt Waters
I got this book yesterday and read through it quickly that night. First of all, it is hilarious. The critic review on the covers says "funniest book since Liar's Poker." I disagree, this is funnier, even though Liar's Poker was funny in its own right. Caveat Emptor, though, the humor is bawdier than most anything I've heard in a locker room. The language itself is a testament to the investment banking world and how it desensitizes junior bankers.
To many, the book will be most startling in just how unglamorous the Investment Banking life actually is. Even the rainmakers at the top of the heap, the managing directors, don't necessarily live a glamorous life. While junior bankers have to grovel to the MD's, the MD's themselves spend their lives groveling to clients and the buyside, trying to justify their existence with pretty pitch books and fonts that are just right.
The most amazing thing about the banking life, though, is not the hours. It's how useless most of those hours are. From what I gathered, the associates and analysts do maybe 4-8 hours a day of real, productive work. The rest of the hours are spent making mindless changes for MD's, only for the MD's and Vice Presidents to change their mind and throw out a lot of that work. Associates spent a lot more time in meetings and travel than I expected, typically just to bring pitch books and give a formidable presence for the bank.
In other words, Monkey Business reads somewhat like a long MBA case study about a mismanaged company who promotes top performers rather than good managers (although it is far, far more interesting than a case study). The MD's have all the hallmarks of bosses from hell. They don't understand what junior bankers actually do and they motivate by crucifying for mistakes and missed deadlines while taking all the credit when there's success.
From the long hours and the constant mistreatment, it's easy to see how investment banks precipitated the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression. During the peak of investment banking, 2003-06, bankers were so desensitized that they had no idea how to think or build value for the economy. Everything was about money, everything was about selling and sounding good and not truly working on behalf of their clients. While most of these shenanigans happened in the trading side of I-banks and not the banking side, the same culture permeated throughout, the almighty dollar before EVERYTHING else.
My only real disappointment was the new post-crisis afterword. Most of the afterword was fine, tying up the loose ends and showing the investment banking can actually lead to good buyside or senior banking jobs, if you're willing to sell your soul for a few years. Rather, I was disappointed that he focused on the trading that led to the crisis, something well-known at this point. I was more interested in why banking still hasn't changed, why analysts and associates are still so poorly treated and why there's so much motion with so little relative value produced.
Read this if you're interested in how businesses work and if you want a good, if very vulgar, laugh. DEFINITELY read this if you're an Ivy undergraduate or MBA student considering wads of money I-bankers may be throwing at you. Realize that there's more to choosing your offer than the salary and if anything could possibly offer a career path half as attractive as the eventual buyside job after banking, take it.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Less interesting for non-bankers
By B. Shamford
I bought this book as pre-MBA summer reading and I got my bargain buy money's worth, but I did not finish it. I have no desire to have a career in banking, but I like business humor and had always been curious what exactly associates go through.
This book was an easy read, but got a little redundant after the first half or 75% of the book. I would not say it is really laugh out loud funny and does lack substance I usually hope for when I read. There is no real story per se, it's just a collection of experiences that gets a little bit tiring after a while. I compare it closely to overhearing someone at a party complain about their job the entire night, it has interesting moments but in the end you decide it's more depressing than entertaining.
For those who are investment bank bound I still think this is almost a must read. Mostly so you know what to expect of each component of the process and you come in with your eyes open to what your role might entail. For people who just thought this would be a good book, I may choose some of the other business related books that have more substance.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Funny and Informative
By Amazon Customer
In learning about finance, I try to take a break from the hardcore technical reading that exists in the field with fun books like this one (often auto biographies).
Monkey Business did mot fail in keeping me entertained. It's full of truths about the investment banking industry while also telling a bunch of one-off stories in a goofy fashion. You still learn a little something while having a good time reading this quickie of a finance classic.
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